Performing vs. Practicing Anti-Racism—Letting Go of Being a “Good White Person”

I used to feel it in my chest—a tightness, a hesitation—whenever race came up in a meeting or conversation.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Am I saying this right?

Did I read the right books?

Have I listened to the podcasts?

Am I showing up the “right” way?

Will they think I’m one of the good white people?

The questions — spoken or not — have deep roots.

As white people in the U.S., many of us grew up in a world that reflected us back as the standard — heroes in our history books, leaders in our highest offices, characters on our screens, “normal” in almost every setting. We learned that being good meant being nice, agreeable, unproblematic, and someone who makes good choices.

So when becoming anti-racist or more whole and more just asks us to look at our complicity — how we contribute to the problem of inequity and how injustice is tied into our stories and sense of self — it can feel like a personal threat.

Instead of listening when harm is named, we might try and explain our intentions. Instead of leaning into feedback, we may feel we have to defend our goodness. 

But the truth is, creating equity isn’t about being seen as good. It’s more about being accountable, repairing harm, and becoming more free.

What I’ve Learned About Performance vs. Practice

Performance is about image — posting the right things, saying the right words, looking like you’re on the right side.

Practice is about integrity — risking comfort, owning mistakes, and showing up even when no one is watching.

Performance keeps us safe from criticism. Practice changes us — and our relationships. It’s what makes trust possible.

Practicing anti-racism and building equity is rarely glamorous. Sometimes it’s awkward, messy, and humbling. It looks like letting go of the need to be perfect and focusing instead on being moldable. It sounds like asking yourself, Am I living my values when there’s no audience? Who am I becoming?

The Shift That Has Mattered

The shift from performance to practice can start small:

• Listening more than explaining.

• Taking feedback without getting stuck in guilt.

• Speaking up in all-white spaces, not just diverse ones.

  
  

It’s not about avoiding mistakes — it’s about staying in it and making amends when we make them. 

Because we can’t perform our way into liberation.

But we can practice our way into deeper alignment with our values, stronger relationships, a more just world, and a better story.